Hoop Dancer, a poem by Cristina M. R. Norcross

(Based on this painting by Ted De Grazia)

A stream of light flows in circles around me.
Hoops and halos surround my body,
as I reach through each center with a dancing limb.
My pointed foot draws a blue circle
while my outstretched hand
paints a swirl of bright yellow.

I am the hoop dancer.
I carve a story into the night air,
as I move in rhythms,
that make my heart pump stronger
and my skin tremble with pure knowledge.

The lyrical notes fall all at once
from the dark, speckled sky.
They come crashing in waves,
and jingle at my beaded, fringed ankles.
Movement creates a limitless space between
my feet and the dry, crumbled earth beneath.
The hoops are as light as the air itself.
They raise me up and I am in flight.
Each circle is a galaxy –
each waving feather in my headdress
creates the stardust that lights up the world around me
so that my body is the bonfire –
aglow with a story.
It is the narrative of the hoop.

Cristina M. R. Norcross
August 2, 2006

Inspiration

Wow, it has been awhile since I've written anything. I've thought about writing everyday, but either haven't had the opportunity or have been too deep in thought to put anything down on "paper". Since Kevin's passing and memorial service, I've found myself reflecting on my own life as I've seen Kevin's light shine all around me, like on election day as I saw the trees burst with color, at his memorial as each person shared and just in the air at Snipes Farm, watching his wife, Casey's, strength and grace in knowing her beloved was shining on, and in the ordinary moments I see each day. How do I make sense out of this loss? How do I honor Kevin...honor Casey? In what way can I continue Kevin's light? How do I want to live? How have I been living?

A lot of questions. Many difficult things to look at in my own life. For those who didn't know Kevin or who were somehow unable to make it to his memorial, I was only able to describe it as one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I am so honored to have been there. To have witnessed the love, the tears, the courage, the life that filled the space, was truly amazing. Kevin's family and friends CELEBRATED Kevin's life, while allowing the tears to flow. The strength of his family, in particular, his wife and partner overwhelms me with inspiration. She seemed to allow herself to feel fully and to express each feeling as it happened. At one point loudly and firmly directing us to sing louder and louder because Kevin could not hear us as she processed with his family to a table honoring him. Later as a dear friend played a song for Kevin, she got up and danced with his picture, eyes closed and smiling brightly. So many friends shared stories of Kevin. Many funny stories, as he did not lack in humor. People sang, including Tim, read poetry, told how Kevin had touched their lives, although they may have only met him once or twice. This was just awe inspiring. And as each person finished their gift of sharing, we all said loudly, "Thank you, Kevin". It was beautiful.

I've been very contemplative since the service. Taking in words that my dear friend, Mary, had expressed about my energy when we first met and I was regularly meditating at the Buddhist center. Realizing that this past year, leading up to the birth of my second son, and afterwards have been lived mostly in a state of fear. Trying to be gentle with myself in understanding that much of this was due to post partum depression and circumstances that were legitimately stressful and frightening. While also realizing, that now that I am in a much better place, I still often find myself ruminating on fearful, stressful things in life rather than just living. Kevin's life and passing have inspired me to start "living" again. I need to honor him in this way...to honor his family in this way. When I think about this bright, beautiful light taken so soon, I think there must be a reason. For me that reason is so we can all continue to carry his light in our own hearts, minds and souls and make the world that much brighter.

I mean, seriously, Kevin's light was so bright his exceptionally close friends are now saying he reached "Super Nova" status and he had nowhere else to go, but to expand outward into the universe. You see Kevin had no cause of death. Really, there was no known cause of death...think about that. As I heard that at his memorial, it cleared any doubts I may have had about his feeling presence in the rain, the trees, the air...everywhere on election day. I also firmly know that I needed to start living more fully again. To live like I do when I'm in pe*A*ce with the hoop. Living each moment completely, not anticipating the next, but fully being in each moment, blissfully, passionately. So I continue my journey around and up the mountain. I think of Kevin many times each day and try to honor his life by living mine more intentionally. Many times I fall short, but I am greatly inspired and I will not stop trying.

Thank you, Kevin.





This song is from a CD of unreleased music of Kevin playing with various artists. He is the percussionist on the song and the inspiration for my dance.

Rhythms of Life...Kevin Brock's Beats Live On.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. Anticipation filled my being as election day approached. I looked forward to watching elections results come in with family and close friends. We expected some hoopers and musicians to be dropping in and out throughout the evening and felt grateful for the comaraderie on such a momentous day. It was a day I was praying would bring about great change for our suffering country.

For the first time in months I was able to attend Baxter's Monday night Maidan class and it felt a bit like coming home. Sitting in circle at the beginning of class with the women and men whom I have grown to love and deeply cherish as a rich part of my life, provided a deep sense of comfort that I have missed in my absence. Baxter spoke of compassion, truth and real beauty. The foundation of class was based on these three concepts and it was profoundly moving. We ended class by sitting and singing a mantra together, opening the space for an all night peace meditation that was about to be held. Hearing our voices together, knowing our intention for good, for peace, for change....it gave me chills, it gave me hope. And I left class wondering what Tuesday would bring.

Tim and I talked some when I came home and I got on the computer. Sometime around midnight I checked facebook before heading to bed. The first thing I saw turned my stomach upside down and made me read it several times before turning to Tim to tell him what it said. "Tim", I whispered, " Ann, has posted here that Kevin Brock died." Shock was felt by both of us. I immediately wanted to call Ann, feeling that this must be a different Kevin Brock...or the information must be wrong. This could not be our friend, the brilliant percussionist that Tim had play with countless times, whose bright light shone to everyone who met him. Tim reminded me of the time and persuaded me to not call Bax and Ann that late. He then retreated into his own space and me into mine, each to deal with our own shock and grief individually. Within these few moments, the election did not feel so important to me anymore. I wondered how to comfort Tim, who had just lost another very close friend a few months before. I cried for Kevin's wife and long time partner, and selfishly feared for myself (the what if ?'s, how would I get by without Tim?), and then cried for her more. I thought of the great loss this is for the whole world and felt a deep pit in my gut.

On Tuesday, election day, I felt like I was going through the motions of life. Trying to "gear up" for what could be one of the most historical days in our country, but my heart felt low. I had promised Beth that I would pick Erica up from school in the afternoon and bring her back to our house. I was so looking forward to time with Erica, who always brings a smile and brightness to my life. It was pouring down rain outside as I drove to Hillsborough to pick up Erica from school. I drove in awe at the colors on the trees in the rain. It was as though they had changed over night. The rain was pouring down and the trees were singing with brilliant colors and all I could think is "this is Kevin, here with us". He is this brilliance, he is the rain nourishing our dry land and bringing the color out of the trees. Everything, despite the rain or because of it (or perhaps including it) was unbelievably stunning...and I cried, knowing that Kevin was still here.

I thought about class the night before and realized that it had all happened for a reason. Baxter's message about compassion, truth and beauty. Kevin encompassed all three, in particular, his beauty from within just radiated outward to each person that he encountered. Not one person whom I have met that had even a mere instance of contact with Kevin was not somehow touched by him and his gift. An individual like this comes along rarely, and when you get to meet them you bow down and give thanks.

The hoopers in Carrboro and those who came from around North America were exceptionally fortunate because Kevin played for both Hoop Path retreats and at the Hoop Convergence. He loved playing for hooping events and his music was perfect and always in sync with what was happening inside the rhythms of the hoopers. His instincts were always perfectly aligned with what was happening in field of hoopers. I'm not sure if a non-hooper can understand how difficult a task that is, but I'm here to tell you it's incredibly rare. His gift was truly magnificent.

These are some words from others to describe Kevin:

Ann Humphreys: " Clear-eyed gentle soul--so solid and so present always"

Beth Lavinder:"I did not know Kevin very well, but he always made me feel so special, like he saw me, heard me, affirmed me. His sincerity and authenticity were palpable. He radiated a goodness and generosity that I've never witnessed in anyone else. He celebrated and encouraged the beauty and achievements of others and affirmed their innate worth.

I had a very strong dream last night that I think touched upon what Klee referred to as Kevin's uniqueness. I dreamt that I was standing behind him, observing and appreciating the light that touched his neck and shoulders. I was struck by the special quality of his skin, it's beauty and strangeness. His skin was a mottled white and grey, pure, rare, unique like the coloring of a dappled horse. I saw that although he lived in a body like ours, he inhabited a special skin unlike anyone else, and it was beautiful and unmatched.

I think that Baxter's class last night touched upon something that I feel like Kevin embodied, a Beauty that comes from within, that is internal and eternal, authentic and pure. I feel comforted when I appreciate this gift that he gave us."

Robert Cantrell: "Kevin didn't just play drums or percussion, he painted beautiful artwork with his music. As a percussionist, I don't know anyone else who can do that...reach out beyond the instruments and paint rather than just play".

The election is over and history has been made. While I celebrate this great victory in our country, I also mourn a loss of a friend and celebrate the gift he was and continues to be to the world. We miss you Kevin. We pray for your family and offer love and support.

Kevin Locke and The Hoop of Life

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of seeing Kevin Locke perform at the local Arts Center. Kevin Locke is a Native American from the Lakota Nation and an amazing performer. Native American hoop dance is much different from the type of dance in which I participate. The hoops are much smaller, generally made of reed or wood, and Kevin uses 28 hoops; each one representing a day in the lunar cycle. The symbolism in the dance is continuous with each new hoop and movement. He brings the hoops to life as he dances into forms, appearing as a butterfly, the earth, the moon, an eagle soaring, all with fluidity and grace. When he speaks, he speaks of peace, of diversity and of all of us being in unity with one another. His speech and dance reflect each other. One can see the unity of all creation in his dance...how each hoop is interlinked with the other and each form he creates is dependent on each different hoop...similarly we, each human, each living being, is reliant on one another even if we do not see the connection.

Hooping in its many forms has been around for thousands of years. In fact, according to Wikapedia, hooping's first origins date back to ancient Egypt as early as 1000 BC. Through many cultures, in many forms it has been a form of play, expression, dance, communication and so much more. Kevin Locke's performance gave me one more beautiful way to engage with this sacred circle. His message was clear and perfect. WE ARE ONE, WE ARE ALL CONNECTED, BE PEACE.

His words, his dance were a gift to me. I offer great thanks to him and others like him.

Click the link below to watch a video of Kevin Locke performing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_gtJDvU0QY