Although it does not define me, I have lived with depression since my childhood. As I look back over my early years, pre-teen and early teenage times, dealing with the illness, I am often struck by some of the amazing coping skills a young child can develop in the midst of personal crisis. Many of those skills, of course, would not serve me well as an adult, but several have been essential throughout my life.
One technique has been the most influential and life changing. While I don't remember the circumstances, I do remember being quite young and horribly sad and emotionally distressed one night. As I lay in bed, literally praying for comfort, I was able to envision this beautiful white light encircling me on all sides, and above it, creating it, was a magnificent lioness. Immediately, I was at peace and found stillness in an otherwise troubled heart, and from then on, this image became the face of God for me. In times of greatest, sorrow, despair and even bouts of depression I could go back to this image and recreate it for comfort and knowledge that I was never alone on my journey.
It is no wonder that I am so taken with hooping. A circular object, always surrounding me, as I dance. Protecting me, from everything and perhaps nothing, but still always there. Lately, as I practice the technique termed, "Folding" by my teacher, Jonathon Baxter (Bax), founder of the HoopPath, I can see this image, of white light and lioness, so clearly as the hoop gently wraps around my body in unconventional ways. With each "fold" I create a new stream of light and protection, the hoop always seeming to touch some point on my body. It is the most comforting hoop experience I have had so far. It is also the most rigorous despite its simple beauty and appearance to the observer.
I realize that I am a great candidate for HoopPath teaching because I prefer the dance and meditation that hooping offers over learning new tricks with the hoop, however there is plenty of technique offered in Bax's teaching to fill a student's repertoire. Folding is just one example and has opened up so much for me in my own hoop dance. I have been so incredibly fortunate to be under Bax's tutelage most Monday nights for over 5 years now.
I love and am grateful for the road I have traveled, am traveling, down this path, with the hoop, with my community of family and friends. Each life experience can be an opportunity for growth and shapes the people we become. I am contented with this fact of continual growth as a person and in my dance.
If you cannot view the video below, please go to www.havenhoopdance.com to view the blog in its entirety.
This song, "Little Fire", by Patty Griffin is one of my favorites. It reminds me of the image I speak of in the writing above, in particular the chorus :
" All that I want is one who knows me
A kind hand on my face when I weep
And I'd give back these things I know are meaningless
For a little fire beside me when I sleep"
1 comment:
Absolutely beautiful. As a sharer in the illness of depression, I find this very profound. Thank you!
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