Owning a "Move"

photo from www.mandalahoops.com

Over the last several years as hooping has become more mainstream, or perhaps as the number of hoopers on tribe.net has increased, there has on occasion been a thread written about the idea of hoop moves and ownership. For example, was there truly someone out there that was the first person to do an isolation, a barrel roll, a sky/earth angle etc. I've always struggled with this idea of ownership or firsts for many reasons. The main reason being that the hoop is an ancient tool/toy that can be dated to 1000BC in Egypt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hooping) .That being said can we really be so arrogant to think that in all these thousands of years no one else has been creative enough to come up with the hooping moves of today? There are also circus performers, gymnasts and others who have used the hoop in current times, and all though they may not be a part of the flow arts, they certainly have played with and used hoops enough to have explored many of the techniques we currently use.

So that is the soapbox I have sat on for many, many months....years even.

The last month or so is where the self exploration begins. Several months ago, perhaps it was even back in late summer, I can't remember time has played tricks with me this past year; I was at a Weds. night class at the DoJhang. Baxter was having us work on two tree technique, specifically moving our feet. Something I've been doing for along time is accentuating my foot movements, pretending almost to be a ballerina, in my desire to really "dance" as I hoop. I've never had an formal dance training, but I was your typical little girl who closed her bedroom door, turned up the music and danced her ass off in solitude. I never really grew out of that, or out of the idea of being a dancer. Hooping has allowed me to play with that dream.

As the class went on Bax mentioned that as your balance got better you could begin to "draw" with you feet like Bonnie was doing. It felt good to be noticed. I know that we all like feedback in his classes as we joke about it from time to time. In my daily practice I continued this style of dance as I had been. Unfortunately the economy was getting worse and worse and gas kept increasing, and hard decisions needed to be made. So I decided to take some time off from class and my general trips into town. It was just too expensive and we really needed to keep a tight budget.

After a couple months, I resumed classes again and Baxter was teaching this method of "drawing" regularly. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I thought I was the master at this move, not the student. I felt robbed....I thought, "dude he stole my move"....uuhhummm, yep knocked right off my high horse. I was having this huge inner turmoil. Why did I have such attachment to this "move"? I've seen tons of other hoopers move their feet. I am surely....I mean surely... not the first to move my feet in this way...hello hooping is called a "flow art"...flow ..you can't flow if you aren't moving. Yet, still I was struggling inside with the idea that he was teaching "my move". I so badly wanted to reconcile this with in myself.

Then Monday night in class I went in and told myself I would be an open book. I was there to learn. Baxter is my teacher. I am the student. During the entire class I let go of attachment to anything regarding my hooping. I allowed myself to just be. Just be a hooper. Just learn. Listen. Open. It was one of the best classes I've had in a very long time. I learned a lot, especially as Baxter taught about drawing. Mostly I learned more about myself. About my judgments of others, about my own attachment, and about my need for approval. The hoop, a tool, a toy, an instrument for great growth, both inner and outer. Once again I am blessed by its sacred geometry.

Monday's class was the bow on a package of yuck which I was trying to let go. Nice metaphor huh? Really though, I had been needing to release this attachment, needing to learn, and needing to face my own judgments of others that have felt similarly. Once again facing my humanness. While I strive to be "Maidan", "Haven", these are aspirations...beautiful aspirations, great aspirations, but not a place that I am. I am human, with faults, idiosyncrasies, and many areas to grow. I love that the hoop, my hooping community, my family, the greater community is constantly challenging me. How boring life would be without constant growth. To be stagnant, would be like death. Thank you all for helping me grow. Thank you to my hoop, my dance partner, for always pushing me to new illuminations.