Once again it seems like a lifetime since I last wrote. I've been struggling with how to maintain this blog. What is the line between "keeping it real" and "keeping it professional"? I'm not sure I know, because hooping is so intensely personal to me, while also my work. I'm hoping to find my rhythm again with writing and be true to myself in what I present.
Recently I have been struck with how intensely healing hooping, the hoop, the hoop community (the Hoop Path community for me specifically), and hoopdance can be. Each of these separately and together are powerful tools for growth and well-being. Each can offer emotional or physical health and in many cases both. Lately I have encountered personal stories(my own included) as well as published articles that relate to this topic. That being said, in my own life I can testify to how hooping has provided a space for healing physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and in ways I can not yet quantify.
USING THE HOOP AS A TOOL FOR GRIEVING
In the course of the last year, Tim and I had several dear friends die unexpectedly. It seemed that we would just be coming to accept one death, when we would be hit with the next. Bright, vibrant, young, creative, amazingly gifted, beautiful men and women, gone in an instant. Death is heartbreaking, but these deaths, somehow seemed unbearably tragic.
The third one came about this past spring. This death was particularly difficult for me because like me Jane, was a young mom, a hooper, and we had a deep connection. Jane chose to end her own life. The circumstances around this choice were also strange in that everything pointed to her being happy and peaceful when she died. Her brother-in-law, the minister at the spiritual community for which Tim is music director, gave the most uplifting, hopeful eulogy I could have ever expected. Still I was saddened on a deep level by her loss and struggling to deal with it.
While I had used hooping to help with grief in the past, I felt stuck in managing the initial grief with Jane's death. Months earlier when drummer and friend, Kevin Brock, had passed it seemed natural to gather with hoops and drums as a way to honor Kevin and grieve together. I also found myself hooping in our living room to a CD of Kevin's unreleased music and this too was healing during my grief process. This time with Jane, though, I was not finding my way.
Then my dear friend and fellow Hoop Pather, Lauren C., from the DC area started checking in on me frequently. She suggested making a "grief hoop". Taking things that reminded me of Jane, that were important in my grieving process and putting them inside the tubing of the hoop. Then closing up the hoop, taping and beginning the journey of grieving through hooping with that hoop. A journey which eventually would transform the hoop from a "grief hoop" to a hoop of joy. It was a brilliant idea and one that for me was invaluable.
In early September, just on the heels of Elias's disappearance and presumed death, my best friend in NYC lost her baby in her second trimester. It was tragic, horrific, and something no parent should ever have to experience. I flew up to NY to be with her and her family a few days after it happened. I was humbled to be a part of their family during this time and so touched that they wanted me there. One night I was privileged to sit with 3 other women friends and hear the entire story, cry and listen as one friend told the story of the lotus flower, which has since become the name of the baby. Baby Lotus. Although it was not "my" loss, watching their pain, hearing their story, seeing their strength, walking with them through each day was a transformative time for me.
While in NY, I had my hoops with me and they became a source of play at times throughout the weekend, especially for their 3 1/2 yr old. I told my friend about the idea of a grief hoop and offered to make her one if it spoke to her. Mostly, though, I brought them as a security blanket for myself. An outlet in case I needed 10 minutes of active meditation. Some self-care while traveling. At this point in my hoop journey, it is hard to leave home without a hoop by my side.
Several weeks ago, she called me and told me she was changing her topic for her Facing Death class in her PhD. class to focus on hooping and grieving. She and I spent time working on the project together. I made her a grief hoop and explained some of the Hoop Path beliefs in general and specific to grieving. Lastly, she asked me to make a video to a song that has been pivotal in her family's grieving process. Making the hoop and the video where incredible experiences for me. Putting my WHOLE self into the process. The video is shown at the beginning of this blog and the hoop shown on the floor of the video. All of this was done with healing intention. And now my prayers go out, hoping that she is still continuing to flow in healing energy.
PS: For those of you receiving this via email or facebook click the link below to view the video or go to www.havenhoopdance.com .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLH4GbAw9SM
