Remembering Carl

Carl Anthony Williams
2/25/61-12/22/03

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~~Edward Everett Hale


 My dear friend Sean volunteered in Africa and connected deeply with a young child there.  He has shared many stories, pictures, and videos of his time with Ibu.  His recollections and feelings about this time with Ibu have stirred some of my own memories of various life event including my year volunteering in a battered women's shelter in KC,MO and 3 year old "L" with whom I shared a great bond, and today Sean's story of Ibu brought back a memories from my own childhood, of Carl Williams, one of the most influential people in my life.

 I met Carl when I was about 4 or 5. These are my memories as I recall them... the memories of a child at that age. I am sure my time lines are off some, but they don't really matter, what matters is the story, the feelings,  and most importantly the impact one person can have on the life of another.

It was my first year at football camp.  My mom was cooking all the meals for the team and we (the three daughters) went up to camp that year and subsequent years to "help".  I remember being terrified of these HUGE men (really just teenage boys), but to a young child, GIGANTIC football players who could crush me if they chose to.  Each year there were a select few (generally about three) trainers who came along as well.  They were usually female and were skilled in treating injuries etc.  Myself and the other coaches daughters often clung to them, when we weren't off paddle boating, catching frogs, playing with my beloved dog Cheer, or helping in the kitchen.  In between these time, during open swim, and at night the players were around and I was fearful.

Then I met Carl.  He was by my standards, a mammoth sized man, his beautiful dark skin and large muscles towering over me, with a nice sized afro,  all larger than life.  I was playing with little plastic race cars that came from the Captain Crunch box.  You would blow up the balloon attached and the cars would go swiftly across the picnic table.  I felt like a nobody amongst these "adults", and Carl sat down with me and asked if he could race cars with me.  The simplest, kindest gesture and suddenly I mattered.  We became instant friends, for a lifetime.

After camp I missed Carl tremendously.  I could not wait until I would see him again.  I can't remember which one of us wrote the other first, but I do remember the glorious day when my mom came home from school with the most magnificent handmade card I had ever seen and it was for me.  Carl had thought that I was special enough to make such a lovely card, and it even said so on the the front " For My Special Friend Bonnie".  The flower on the cover was made of brilliant colors of yard and he even put a little, plastic man with moustache on the bottom because I had talked about how his moustache tickled when he hugged me.  I am flooded with the awareness I had at that moment that I was loved, acknowledged and important as a human being.  Sitting on my parents large bed, staring in my mother's mirror that spanned the length of her dresser, I saw myself and her and told her, " Mom, I wish that Carl was my big brother. "  "Well," she said matter-of-factly, "why don't you ask him to be?"  Really? It could be that easy? Would he say yes?  I got to work immediately on my letter back to him.

It was soon decided that we were indeed family and it did not take long before I started calling his mom, Mom Williams, and his dad, Dad Williams.  His sister Linda, was my sister as was his brother Mark and little sister Michele (Mickey).  Carl came to my swim meets, my first communion, he was my confirmation sponsor, but what I remember most is meeting him off the football field each week, win or lose, for my post-game hug.  He was always there with love in his heart, regardless of excitement of the win or disappointment of a loss, to give a little girl  the hug she waited for all week long.  My most memorable hug came during a game where Carl got injured and had to be assisted off the field.  At the same time, my mom was taking me to the ER for an ear infection.  Sobbing both from the pain in my ear and from the fear of what had potentially happened to Carl, we met near the bus in the parking lot.  Carl had the trainers let go of his arms and balanced heroically on his one good leg, bent over and picked me up to give me the best hug of my life, reassuring me that it was all going to be OK.  These are the moments that help shape our lives. 

Carl speaking at Football Camp my freshman or sophomore year in HS

While we kept in touch through most of our lives, there is no happy ending to this story, which is perhaps why I have not been able to talk about it much.  I don't have many regrets in my life, mostly because I don't believe they are helpful.  However it haunts me that I didn't make it to Carl's funeral after he was murdered.  My sister was there and sent my love to my "second family".  I listened to her with bated breath as she told me of all the former Shrine players who came back for the funeral, the words they spoke about Carl, the love that filled the room for him, and I grieved.  And each year around Christmas I promise myself that I will write a letter to Mom Williams and tell her all of this, but I never do.  I don't know what holds me back... my grief, the disbelief, fear, shame; probably all of these things.  Today, though after hearing my friend Sean talk about Ibu, I had to write about Carl.  I had to let him and others know, that these connections we make with children, with people who often need it the most.... these connections do make a difference, often the difference of a lifetime. 


So maybe today reach out to someone and share your hoop and hope that it gives them that moment of joy.  Look the homeless person in the eye when you pass them by in the street and say "Hello".  Smile at a child, your neighbor, your barista.  The simplest act can form a bond that changes lives, and at the very least it may change someones outlook for that moment.  We all have it within our power to change a life for the better and therefore change the world.  What's holding you back?


Thank you Carl.  I love you Brother.  This dance is for you.


If you can't view the video please go to www.havenhoopdance.com to see the entire blog.

American Council on Exercise Reveals Findings on Hula Hooping Workouts

 

 

Fitness Industry Leader, with University of Wisconsin, La Crosse, Examines Efficacy of Hula Hooping Fitness Trend

SAN DIEGO, Feb. 8, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- The American Council on Exercise, America's leading authority on fitness and the largest nonprofit fitness certification, education and training organization in the world, today announced exclusive study findings that conclude hula hooping workouts offer substantial and positive results.  With no scientific literature to support the fitness benefits of hooping, the Council commissioned a team from the exercise and health program at the University of Wisconsin, La Crosse, led by Jordan Holthusen, M.S., and John Porcari, Ph.D., to test whether the modernized workout version of hula hooping provides effective calorie-burning and cardiovascular benefits. Hooping has become an increasingly popular fitness trend that is being integrated into Pilates, yoga and dance classes nationwide.

"With the evolution of hooping over recent years to become a nationwide exercise trend, we felt it was important to evaluate hooping's efficacy as a regular fitness regimen component," says ACE's Chief Science Officer, Cedric X. Bryant, Ph.D.  "The findings from our commissioned study indicate that hooping delivers a total-body workout that can improve flexibility and balance while strengthening the back, abdominal, arm and leg muscles."

Hooping, which is thought to have originally been discovered in Ancient Egypt and Greece thousands of years ago when hoops were created from grapevines, is based on the hula hoops that gained popularity in the U.S. during the 1950s.  The primary differentiators with today's fitness hoops include a larger diameter, ranging from 37 to 45 inches, and weighted hoops, ranging from one to four pounds.  These modifications enable exercisers to rotate the hoops around the body more slowly, allowing for extended workouts that may result in a higher calorie burn.

For this study, the researchers recruited 16 healthy women between the ages of 16 and 59, all of whom were intermediate- to advanced-level hoopers.  Participants completed two practice sessions prior to a test that consisted of using a 35-minute hooping workout developed by Mary Pulak, founder of the Hooked on Hooping exercise studio in Green Bay, Wisc.  Once test subjects were comfortable with the choreography, which included seven different routines, each wore a portable oxygen analyzer and a Polar® heart rate monitor to measure oxygen consumption (VO2 max) and recorded heart rate (HR), respectively.  As the subjects hooped along to the exercise DVD at their own pace and using a weighted hoop, HR and VO2 were measured at one-minute intervals throughout the 30-minute workout while individual ratings of perceived exertion (RPE), based on the Borg Scale, were surveyed every five minutes.

At the conclusion of the test, researchers found hooping burns an average of 210 calories during a 30-minute hooping workout (approximately 420 calories per hour), which is comparable to the exertion of boot camp-style classes, step aerobics and cardio kickboxing.  The average HR was 151 beats per minute, which is equivalent to 84 percent of the age-predicted HRmax for the average subject.  Further, the RPE average was rated as "somewhat hard" on the Borg Scale.

"Not only can hooping workouts result in improved cardiovascular health, muscle conditioning, flexibility and balance, but hoopers may also enjoy a fun, relaxing and potentially meditative effect due to the activity's rhythmic nature," Bryant adds.

A complete study summary can be found on ACE's Get Fit™ website, located at www.acefitness.org/getfit/research.aspx.

About the American Council on Exercise

The American Council on Exercise (ACE), America's premier fitness education, certification and training organization, is a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting the benefits of physical activity and protecting Americans against unsafe and ineffective fitness products and instruction. ACE sponsors university-based exercise science research and is the world's largest nonprofit fitness certifying organization. For more information on ACE and its programs, call (800) 825-3636 or log onto the ACE website at www.acefitness.org

SOURCE American Council on Exercise

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Moving through January

This being human is a guesthouse.

Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!

Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out
for some new delight . . .

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

~~Rumi

January was one of the longest months that I can remember. I found myself continually saying, “Really? It’s still January.” The month in it’s opposition seems to linger, leaving a residual hollow sound echoing in my ear.  Each day brought new challenges to health, family life, and the basic “securities” that help move the days along smoothly.

I stopped hooping for most of January finding little time for such a “frivolous” activity. I was busy taking care of my boys, my health, errands, and hoping for rest in between. The ice storm that hit our area cancelled my hoop classes, providing even less time for me to hoop, even while teaching. I could feel my body calling to the hoop, but I literally could not find the time to pick it up.

As the month S L O W L Y progressed, my health took on a new unexplained twist, and my family, in their infinite generosity, stepped in to help. My sisters took time off of work to care for my children. My parents drove the long haul from MI to NC so my children could stay with them for almost two weeks of grandparent fun. I was blessed by the most amazing gift anyone can give... time. I slept for hours upon hours, I picked up my hoop, was able to go to two local hoop jams, and wrote my workshop for the SnowFlow Festival in Louisville.

The last weekend of January I found myself breathing deeply ,attending kirtan chanting, hooping with intense focus, forcing myself get out in the beautiful NC weather and run run run, writing my SnowFlow workshop, meditating, spending time at weaver street and people watching, and smiling BIG. I finally felt like I would make it through January and that February would be FABULOUS!

The first weekend in February brought the first annual SnowFlow Festival, held in Louisville, KY. SnowFlow offered 10 classes in various flow arts, my class titled “Expression of Hoopdance”. I was happily surprised that it sold out at 40 people, the biggest class I had taught so far in my hoop dance teaching experience. The time my family had provided allowed me to regain my momentum, prepare for the workshop, build my hoop practice back up, and to fully engage in the experience of the weekend.

I am continually amazed at the graciousness of the people I encounter. My family is the obvious example, but SnowFlow Fest reminded me of my love for the flow arts (and friends) community. All weekend I was greeted with kindness, taught with respect, and appreciated as a teacher. We were greeted Friday night by two side-splitting, soulful, beautiful women, kRi and hettie (www.mcbmusic.com) who graced us with their music. Their song “Guest House” touched me deeply, especially given my experience in January, and my need to move through things rather than hang tight to the unpleasantness. February is here, “let it in, love it, let it go”.

If you are unable to view the following video please go to www. havenhoopdance.com to view the blog and video in its entirety