Class Tuesday, February 17th at Ladies Fitness and Wellness

"Our arms start from the back because they were once wings."

** Martha Graham

This week we will continue working on core hooping while incorporating our arms and hands (aka, our birds). Class will be structured with exercises that are useful in gaining balance and strength as we explore are arm movements, while maintaining a solid core rhythm with the hoop. Using your arms and hands can open up your dance to a whole world of possibilities.

If you are just getting started...no worries...there is plenty of fun for you too!! This class is geared for all levels of hoopers. Whether this is your first spin or you're flowing like a soft breeze, there is space for you to learn, grow and have fun.

I'm excited to expand my birds and fly with you all tomorrow!

Thoughts on Being

Guest House

This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

**Rumi

I used this poem last night in class. It is a favorite of mine for many reasons. Mostly though, it reminds me of the importance of acceptance and just being still. Allowing thoughts, feelings, actions to happen without judgement, but instead with a welcoming of the growth and knowledge that can come from fully living each moment.

When hooping, if one adopts this philosophy, it allows for greater learning and less self-criticism. It can allow the hooper to fully open his/herself to the experience and grow exponentially. For example, the hoop begins to fall to the floor and the hooper in this mindset says, "OK, the hoop started falling when I took large steps, let's see if I can take smaller steps and still keep it going." vs. saying, " I just can't do this. I'm always dropping the hoop. This is so frustrating." The first statement allows the hooper to just be in the moment, feel the hoop as it falls, and then start the next moment with the smaller steps. The second statement closes the hooper off to learning and exploring new ways of being in the hoop.

What amazing freedom comes from not suppressing uncomfortable feelings, thoughts etc., but from just observing them, letting them be and realizing that they do not determine who we are. They do not have power over us, but are merely a guest WE have invited in for a visit. Someone to teach us, to guide us, to help us become more fully human.

So you see in my world everything somehow relates back to hooping...or Buffy The Vampire Slayer (but that's another blog) ;-) .

Class Tuesday, February 10Th at Ladies Fitness and Wellness

This week in class we will once again work on Point exercises. Noticing the point of contact the hoop makes with one's body and spending time "listening" and "focusing" on the point. We will use several exercises to help engage with and manipulate the point and see where it takes us in our individual hoop journeys. Finally, the question that has been lingering, "What do I do with my hands?" will be answered!! You surely will not want to miss out on that answer ;-) It will be a great class of exploration, opening up your hoop practice, as well as deeping your practice. So many things at once!

This class is definitely suitable for beginners and advanced students alike. Whether you have never picked up a hoop before or have been spinning for years, you are sure to have fun and fine tune your skills.

I'll see you there!!

The Flow Show

On April 24Th, 2009, in San Francisco, I will be performing in a show with other flow artists with a myriad of talents. This concept was sparked by Khan, my friend and fellow hooper (along with other talents).

How did I get lulled into this show...traveling across the country to perform for free? Well it's all rather serendipitous really. Myself and several other hooping friends had gone to watch the winter dance performance at a local school. This performance is well know in the area as being quite outstanding. In fact, it is so good that we had to go to the dress rehearsal because you generally can not get seats for the actual performance nights. The show was breathtaking. During the brief intermission, we began talking excitedly about the possibility of a group of us doing something similar, with or without hoops. What would it be like to choreograph some dance pieces and then put on a show for whomever came? We all love movement. We all can obviously move. We could do this, it would be beautiful and amazing. I left the event feeling energized and thrilled at the idea of performing dance with my hoop or possibly without.

When I came home that night and checked tribe.net before bed, Khan had written a post. It began by saying: " Have you ever wondered if your performance was not fire and was not glow, if you had a blank stage, dance/theater lighting available, any kind of music you want and the freedom to fully express your inner reality in a dance with your prop, and if you were creating this for an audience that was there specifically to watch you flow — not to party/dance, not for a fashion show, not to benefit anything (except themselves and those performing) and most definitely not to watch a Man burn — what would you do? I suspect it would look different from your usual party/burn performance, but it might not (pushing into a new way seems more fun). I’d love for us to discover which it was (and sometimes why).”

I thought, wow, Khan must have been there with us in spirit, read our minds. After several responses to his blog, he came up with The Flow Show. I felt so drawn and called to be there. I don't know how we (my family and I) worked it out, but we did and I'm going to follow this dream and participate in what should prove to be a phenomenal presentation of the flow arts.
http://flowshow.wordpress.com

For My Subscribers

Hi there faithful subscribers!! I've noticed that when I write a post with a video embedded in it, and it is sent out to email addresses, the video seems to be left out. This is the case with the post yesterday, titled Hoops not Bombs. My blog was actually as response to the video, but those of you who automatically receive the blog via email most likely never saw the video. So in the future I will try to remember to not only embed videos, but also post the link, and my friends you may want to go directly to my site, www.havenhoopdance.com , to read the actual post. This way we are covered on both ends ;-).

Thanks for reading. Much Love to all of you!!

Hoops Not Bombs

I have often thought, and on a few occasions said, that if every person had a hoop then there would be peace. I know this is a naive statement, for surely we would still have conflicts with one another. We are after all human, but I truly believe that we would be happier, more centered and willing to accept those different from ourselves. I've seen this happen time and time again when a person picks a hoop for the first time, or the 1000th time. That look of bliss, the look of "ahhh, so this is what everyone has been talking about", the look of inner peace...even if just for a moment. I've seen the hoop bring joy to my son as an infant and to grandfathers on the Weaver Street Lawn. Hooping has no age limit; no race, gender, or sexual orientation cares, it is only their to be embraced by those fortunate enough to find its magic. Will the world be saved by the hoop? I don't know, but it needs to be saved by something.

"There is a force in the Universe, which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results." Mahatama Gandhi

Class Tuesday, February 3rd at Ladies Fitness and Wellness

This week in class we will be continuing to hone in on our "listening" skills that we began last week. Listening to our bodies, to our hoop, to the music, to the rhythms surrounding us, and hearing the harmony between them. These are skill that are important to come back to time and time again in each person's hoop practice.

As we continue to listen, we will focus in on the body sensations and feeling of the hoop as it moves around our core. Using a HoopPath technique, called Point, we can begin to have a better understanding of the hoop's rhythm and path and learn to gain more control by focusing on the point contact the hoop makes with our body. This technique also allows for more creativity of movement and some off body hooping.

And as always, we will have A LOT of fun!! Hoops are provided. I can't wait to see you there!

Inaugural Hoop Class at Ladies Fitness and Wellness

Last night was the inaugural (wonderful word given the time of year) hoop class at Ladies Fitness and Wellness. We had an awesome time! In attendance, were 21 beautiful women, each with their own rhythms and movements to bring to the hoop. We spent the majority of the class working on basic core hooping at the waist, as most of the women had not picked up a hoop since childhood, if ever. It was fantastic to see each person find their own connection, struggles, bliss and more within the space of the hoop and the studio.

One of the things that I love about hooping is that anyone can do it. I mean anyone. In the HoopPath, http://www.hooppath.com there is a concept that Baxter talks about as a sort of fundemental to hooping. This is the "Belief, Strength, Grace" concept. It is true in hooping as it is in life (I'm finding most things are). One must first have the belief that they can do something, in hooping that they can accomplish "a move". The belief is the essence to all else, once it is established then comes building the strength. In reference to last night's class for some this strength means continuing to work just on increasing the amount of "flight time" (time spent with in the hoop) on the waist, for others it may be becoming fluent in both currents, and others it may just be having the stregth to pick the hoop back up each time it falls and sustain the belief that it will stay up longer and longer the more you try. Grace comes later, with fluidity of movement and thought. Last night was beautiful watching others begin to find their way into this dance.

I look forward to seing what next week brings for this group of hoopers and for me as an instructor. I am reminded of a the parenting philosphy that we are using, reminding us that we should be happy when our kids make mistakes or do something "wrong" because these are the learning moments that will last a lifetime. Isn't this true for all of us? We are each climbing up this mountain at our own pace, taking time to enjoy the beauty surrounding us, perhaps falling back a bit, but always working toward that acension that will make us better hoopers and better people.

Owning a "Move"

photo from www.mandalahoops.com

Over the last several years as hooping has become more mainstream, or perhaps as the number of hoopers on tribe.net has increased, there has on occasion been a thread written about the idea of hoop moves and ownership. For example, was there truly someone out there that was the first person to do an isolation, a barrel roll, a sky/earth angle etc. I've always struggled with this idea of ownership or firsts for many reasons. The main reason being that the hoop is an ancient tool/toy that can be dated to 1000BC in Egypt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hooping) .That being said can we really be so arrogant to think that in all these thousands of years no one else has been creative enough to come up with the hooping moves of today? There are also circus performers, gymnasts and others who have used the hoop in current times, and all though they may not be a part of the flow arts, they certainly have played with and used hoops enough to have explored many of the techniques we currently use.

So that is the soapbox I have sat on for many, many months....years even.

The last month or so is where the self exploration begins. Several months ago, perhaps it was even back in late summer, I can't remember time has played tricks with me this past year; I was at a Weds. night class at the DoJhang. Baxter was having us work on two tree technique, specifically moving our feet. Something I've been doing for along time is accentuating my foot movements, pretending almost to be a ballerina, in my desire to really "dance" as I hoop. I've never had an formal dance training, but I was your typical little girl who closed her bedroom door, turned up the music and danced her ass off in solitude. I never really grew out of that, or out of the idea of being a dancer. Hooping has allowed me to play with that dream.

As the class went on Bax mentioned that as your balance got better you could begin to "draw" with you feet like Bonnie was doing. It felt good to be noticed. I know that we all like feedback in his classes as we joke about it from time to time. In my daily practice I continued this style of dance as I had been. Unfortunately the economy was getting worse and worse and gas kept increasing, and hard decisions needed to be made. So I decided to take some time off from class and my general trips into town. It was just too expensive and we really needed to keep a tight budget.

After a couple months, I resumed classes again and Baxter was teaching this method of "drawing" regularly. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I thought I was the master at this move, not the student. I felt robbed....I thought, "dude he stole my move"....uuhhummm, yep knocked right off my high horse. I was having this huge inner turmoil. Why did I have such attachment to this "move"? I've seen tons of other hoopers move their feet. I am surely....I mean surely... not the first to move my feet in this way...hello hooping is called a "flow art"...flow ..you can't flow if you aren't moving. Yet, still I was struggling inside with the idea that he was teaching "my move". I so badly wanted to reconcile this with in myself.

Then Monday night in class I went in and told myself I would be an open book. I was there to learn. Baxter is my teacher. I am the student. During the entire class I let go of attachment to anything regarding my hooping. I allowed myself to just be. Just be a hooper. Just learn. Listen. Open. It was one of the best classes I've had in a very long time. I learned a lot, especially as Baxter taught about drawing. Mostly I learned more about myself. About my judgments of others, about my own attachment, and about my need for approval. The hoop, a tool, a toy, an instrument for great growth, both inner and outer. Once again I am blessed by its sacred geometry.

Monday's class was the bow on a package of yuck which I was trying to let go. Nice metaphor huh? Really though, I had been needing to release this attachment, needing to learn, and needing to face my own judgments of others that have felt similarly. Once again facing my humanness. While I strive to be "Maidan", "Haven", these are aspirations...beautiful aspirations, great aspirations, but not a place that I am. I am human, with faults, idiosyncrasies, and many areas to grow. I love that the hoop, my hooping community, my family, the greater community is constantly challenging me. How boring life would be without constant growth. To be stagnant, would be like death. Thank you all for helping me grow. Thank you to my hoop, my dance partner, for always pushing me to new illuminations.

Bringing in the New Year

New Year's Eve and the days leading up to it were very special this year, as we spent them with our dear friends from NYC, Tiffany, Brian and their son Kadin. Over the past several years we have tried to vacation together once a year and visit at other times throughout the year. Both of our families have similar financial situations with make for perfect vacation partners...the motto, keep it simple and very fun. This past year we both had a lot of things, financially and emotionally on our plates that did not allow for us to get together at all, except for an emergency visit from Tiff in the depths of my post partum depression. It was so wonderful and special to spend these few days with them before New Years and then to ring in the New Year with them.

On New Years Eve, magically, all of the kids were in bed before 7pm. How this happened, I have know idea, except that God, the universe, someone knew we all needed this time together without the kids. Tiffany suggested that we each speak of the worst part of 2008 and the best part of 2008 and then when we were done we would talk about our aspirations for 2009. It was an extremely cathartic evening. Ushering out demons that had haunted me quietly because I had been to afraid to speak them openly. Hearing clearly others thoughts and feelings and how they differed or affected my own. We all laughed and cried and grew closer to each other. Then we affirmed each others dreams for 2009 and further. It was completely raw, beautiful and honest. And I was once again reminded what a "true" friend is.

Last night was our annual HoopPath fire for the New Year. I wasn't sure that I would have much to say, being that I had really said what I needed to on New Year's Eve. So with Tim's help, I brought a hoop made out of wisteria branches with pieces of paper intertwined. On each piece of paper was written something I had talked about on New Year's Eve. Things I was ushering out, things I was grateful for, aspirations for the future. I spoke briefly of a few of these things and then read an email that I had written to Beth and Mary on River's birthday...at the exact moment of his birth. I think this was truly what I wanted to offer. To acknowledge them publicly for their amazing friendship and also to say thanks to all of my friends for their support over the last year. I feel the need to do that once more here. So I will copy the letter below:

Hi My Dear Dear Friends,

Do you remember where you were exactly one year ago today? You, Tim, Sarah, Ellen and me were in the process of birthing a beautiful baby boy. And you, Tim, me and a host of others began a long journey to bring both he and me to a healthy place a year from when I stood in the bathroom of the birthing center...sure he would never be born, but having the most incredible support to carry me through and encourage me despite the exhaustion. Now this silly boy sits here with me still nursing happily at my breast and I feel so much gratitude to his godmama and earthmama (the two of you).for your strength when mine was faltering, for your constant love and friendship, for giving me a place to go through labor, for standing by me and my family. I love you both immensely.

Tonight I will look through all the amazing pictures Beth took of the whole experience....what an great record for me to remember (and although you face does not appear in the photos, you are in everyone because you took so much care in shooting them). I don't know how to properly thank anyone for the gifts over the past year, but in particular, my two amazing Maidan sisters who carried me like Ahna carried Saza on her back.
Love to you both always, but especially today.
Bonnie (and River Song)

So I suppose I've rambled quite a bit in this post. And what does it have to do with hooping you may ask? Well from my perspective everything. Like the hoop, the year has come full circle, and now we begin again...or continue on in the journey. The miracle of the circle, of the hoop. No beginning, no end. Just a journey that we all are on, the question being how do you choose to travel on that journey?

pe*A*ce

New Class Starting January 13th 2009

Great news!! I will be teaching a hoop class at Ladies Fitness and Wellness in Chapel Hill starting on Tuesday, January 13th 2009, at 7:45 pm. If you have not been to LF&W, you really need to check it out. It is an unbelievably beautiful workout facility with state of the art equipment and a serene studio for classes. This class will be open to both members of the club and non-members. Club members can attend for free, while non-members will be charged a $15 class fee.

I'm very excited to get this class up and running. The class will be uniquely its own, but will use many HoopPath terms (with Baxter's blessing) given that this the path I have chosen to study in my own hoop journey. I look forward to introducing many women to the hoop and enhancing the practice of seasoned hoopers. I hope this class can be beneficial no matter what level of hooper you are, since we are all continuing to learn daily and climb this mountain at our own pace.

Please join me on January 13th for our inaugural class ;-). Class hoops will be available. Feel free to email me at havenhoopdance@gmail.com if you have any questions.

Searching for Sand Dollars

Happy Holidays!

Today is Christmas Day and Tim, the boys, and I are at the beach with Tim's family. It has been a different Christmas...warm, sunny, beautiful...and I have loved it. Today after opening presents, we spent a couple hours on the beach chasing Wynter and his cousin Kadin, while River napped at the house. We searched for the most gorgeous shells we could find to take back for Oma (grandma) and I went on a mission to find a whole, intact sand dollar for our sister-in-law, Kripa who couldn't join us this Christmas.

Searching for sand dollars is not an easy feat I soon found out. Well, let me modify that, one can find many pieces of sand dollars scattered all over the beach, but finding a whole sand dollar is not as common for sure. I found myself almost obsessed with it. Once I found one, it was intoxicating...I felt like a genius, marine biologist ;-). Seriously though, it gave me the confidence to know that if I found one I could find more and I did. I found two more, beautiful, whole, intact sand dollars. It was this strange, intense, almost meditative process. Which led me to think about how searching for sand dollars is similar to hooping and finding the moments of pe*A*ce between the hooper and the hoop...and on a greater scheme moments of pe*A*ce in our daily interactions with all of creation. And let me be clear that I am talking about positive pe*A*ce because as I understand it, pe*A*ce can take form in negative rhythm as well.

To clarify, pe*A*ce is a HoopPath term that refers to the rhythmic balance of the hooper and the hoop. As a hooper it is the ultimate goal to achieve pe*A*ce as often as possible and maintain it. However, it is possible to get stuck in a negative pe*A*ce, or rhythmic balance, with another person, your hoop, a lifestyle habit etc. We've all been there...we just need to recognize when it happens and change the current (in hooping, the direction of the hoop...in life the direction of the situation).

I was so excited to hoop on the beach and just contemplate these thoughts. I can think of no better place to hoop than the beach. I was ready for an epic hoop. I began and, well, pe*A*ce...not there so much. I kept hooping and had a few really blissful moments. Then 1/2 hour into my hoop, just as my favorite song started playing, my ipod pooped out. OK, OK, surely I was meant to have a great hooping moment today...what do I do now? I walked back to the house and I changed the current. I knew I wanted to be outside. I had told myself I would start running again in the new year...why wait? Running on the beach is also amazingly blissful. And so the current changed and my "epic" hoop turned into a beautiful run on the beach. All this because of my search for a sand dollar.

Hoop Dancer, a poem by Cristina M. R. Norcross

(Based on this painting by Ted De Grazia)

A stream of light flows in circles around me.
Hoops and halos surround my body,
as I reach through each center with a dancing limb.
My pointed foot draws a blue circle
while my outstretched hand
paints a swirl of bright yellow.

I am the hoop dancer.
I carve a story into the night air,
as I move in rhythms,
that make my heart pump stronger
and my skin tremble with pure knowledge.

The lyrical notes fall all at once
from the dark, speckled sky.
They come crashing in waves,
and jingle at my beaded, fringed ankles.
Movement creates a limitless space between
my feet and the dry, crumbled earth beneath.
The hoops are as light as the air itself.
They raise me up and I am in flight.
Each circle is a galaxy –
each waving feather in my headdress
creates the stardust that lights up the world around me
so that my body is the bonfire –
aglow with a story.
It is the narrative of the hoop.

Cristina M. R. Norcross
August 2, 2006

Inspiration

Wow, it has been awhile since I've written anything. I've thought about writing everyday, but either haven't had the opportunity or have been too deep in thought to put anything down on "paper". Since Kevin's passing and memorial service, I've found myself reflecting on my own life as I've seen Kevin's light shine all around me, like on election day as I saw the trees burst with color, at his memorial as each person shared and just in the air at Snipes Farm, watching his wife, Casey's, strength and grace in knowing her beloved was shining on, and in the ordinary moments I see each day. How do I make sense out of this loss? How do I honor Kevin...honor Casey? In what way can I continue Kevin's light? How do I want to live? How have I been living?

A lot of questions. Many difficult things to look at in my own life. For those who didn't know Kevin or who were somehow unable to make it to his memorial, I was only able to describe it as one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I am so honored to have been there. To have witnessed the love, the tears, the courage, the life that filled the space, was truly amazing. Kevin's family and friends CELEBRATED Kevin's life, while allowing the tears to flow. The strength of his family, in particular, his wife and partner overwhelms me with inspiration. She seemed to allow herself to feel fully and to express each feeling as it happened. At one point loudly and firmly directing us to sing louder and louder because Kevin could not hear us as she processed with his family to a table honoring him. Later as a dear friend played a song for Kevin, she got up and danced with his picture, eyes closed and smiling brightly. So many friends shared stories of Kevin. Many funny stories, as he did not lack in humor. People sang, including Tim, read poetry, told how Kevin had touched their lives, although they may have only met him once or twice. This was just awe inspiring. And as each person finished their gift of sharing, we all said loudly, "Thank you, Kevin". It was beautiful.

I've been very contemplative since the service. Taking in words that my dear friend, Mary, had expressed about my energy when we first met and I was regularly meditating at the Buddhist center. Realizing that this past year, leading up to the birth of my second son, and afterwards have been lived mostly in a state of fear. Trying to be gentle with myself in understanding that much of this was due to post partum depression and circumstances that were legitimately stressful and frightening. While also realizing, that now that I am in a much better place, I still often find myself ruminating on fearful, stressful things in life rather than just living. Kevin's life and passing have inspired me to start "living" again. I need to honor him in this way...to honor his family in this way. When I think about this bright, beautiful light taken so soon, I think there must be a reason. For me that reason is so we can all continue to carry his light in our own hearts, minds and souls and make the world that much brighter.

I mean, seriously, Kevin's light was so bright his exceptionally close friends are now saying he reached "Super Nova" status and he had nowhere else to go, but to expand outward into the universe. You see Kevin had no cause of death. Really, there was no known cause of death...think about that. As I heard that at his memorial, it cleared any doubts I may have had about his feeling presence in the rain, the trees, the air...everywhere on election day. I also firmly know that I needed to start living more fully again. To live like I do when I'm in pe*A*ce with the hoop. Living each moment completely, not anticipating the next, but fully being in each moment, blissfully, passionately. So I continue my journey around and up the mountain. I think of Kevin many times each day and try to honor his life by living mine more intentionally. Many times I fall short, but I am greatly inspired and I will not stop trying.

Thank you, Kevin.





This song is from a CD of unreleased music of Kevin playing with various artists. He is the percussionist on the song and the inspiration for my dance.

Rhythms of Life...Kevin Brock's Beats Live On.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. Anticipation filled my being as election day approached. I looked forward to watching elections results come in with family and close friends. We expected some hoopers and musicians to be dropping in and out throughout the evening and felt grateful for the comaraderie on such a momentous day. It was a day I was praying would bring about great change for our suffering country.

For the first time in months I was able to attend Baxter's Monday night Maidan class and it felt a bit like coming home. Sitting in circle at the beginning of class with the women and men whom I have grown to love and deeply cherish as a rich part of my life, provided a deep sense of comfort that I have missed in my absence. Baxter spoke of compassion, truth and real beauty. The foundation of class was based on these three concepts and it was profoundly moving. We ended class by sitting and singing a mantra together, opening the space for an all night peace meditation that was about to be held. Hearing our voices together, knowing our intention for good, for peace, for change....it gave me chills, it gave me hope. And I left class wondering what Tuesday would bring.

Tim and I talked some when I came home and I got on the computer. Sometime around midnight I checked facebook before heading to bed. The first thing I saw turned my stomach upside down and made me read it several times before turning to Tim to tell him what it said. "Tim", I whispered, " Ann, has posted here that Kevin Brock died." Shock was felt by both of us. I immediately wanted to call Ann, feeling that this must be a different Kevin Brock...or the information must be wrong. This could not be our friend, the brilliant percussionist that Tim had play with countless times, whose bright light shone to everyone who met him. Tim reminded me of the time and persuaded me to not call Bax and Ann that late. He then retreated into his own space and me into mine, each to deal with our own shock and grief individually. Within these few moments, the election did not feel so important to me anymore. I wondered how to comfort Tim, who had just lost another very close friend a few months before. I cried for Kevin's wife and long time partner, and selfishly feared for myself (the what if ?'s, how would I get by without Tim?), and then cried for her more. I thought of the great loss this is for the whole world and felt a deep pit in my gut.

On Tuesday, election day, I felt like I was going through the motions of life. Trying to "gear up" for what could be one of the most historical days in our country, but my heart felt low. I had promised Beth that I would pick Erica up from school in the afternoon and bring her back to our house. I was so looking forward to time with Erica, who always brings a smile and brightness to my life. It was pouring down rain outside as I drove to Hillsborough to pick up Erica from school. I drove in awe at the colors on the trees in the rain. It was as though they had changed over night. The rain was pouring down and the trees were singing with brilliant colors and all I could think is "this is Kevin, here with us". He is this brilliance, he is the rain nourishing our dry land and bringing the color out of the trees. Everything, despite the rain or because of it (or perhaps including it) was unbelievably stunning...and I cried, knowing that Kevin was still here.

I thought about class the night before and realized that it had all happened for a reason. Baxter's message about compassion, truth and beauty. Kevin encompassed all three, in particular, his beauty from within just radiated outward to each person that he encountered. Not one person whom I have met that had even a mere instance of contact with Kevin was not somehow touched by him and his gift. An individual like this comes along rarely, and when you get to meet them you bow down and give thanks.

The hoopers in Carrboro and those who came from around North America were exceptionally fortunate because Kevin played for both Hoop Path retreats and at the Hoop Convergence. He loved playing for hooping events and his music was perfect and always in sync with what was happening inside the rhythms of the hoopers. His instincts were always perfectly aligned with what was happening in field of hoopers. I'm not sure if a non-hooper can understand how difficult a task that is, but I'm here to tell you it's incredibly rare. His gift was truly magnificent.

These are some words from others to describe Kevin:

Ann Humphreys: " Clear-eyed gentle soul--so solid and so present always"

Beth Lavinder:"I did not know Kevin very well, but he always made me feel so special, like he saw me, heard me, affirmed me. His sincerity and authenticity were palpable. He radiated a goodness and generosity that I've never witnessed in anyone else. He celebrated and encouraged the beauty and achievements of others and affirmed their innate worth.

I had a very strong dream last night that I think touched upon what Klee referred to as Kevin's uniqueness. I dreamt that I was standing behind him, observing and appreciating the light that touched his neck and shoulders. I was struck by the special quality of his skin, it's beauty and strangeness. His skin was a mottled white and grey, pure, rare, unique like the coloring of a dappled horse. I saw that although he lived in a body like ours, he inhabited a special skin unlike anyone else, and it was beautiful and unmatched.

I think that Baxter's class last night touched upon something that I feel like Kevin embodied, a Beauty that comes from within, that is internal and eternal, authentic and pure. I feel comforted when I appreciate this gift that he gave us."

Robert Cantrell: "Kevin didn't just play drums or percussion, he painted beautiful artwork with his music. As a percussionist, I don't know anyone else who can do that...reach out beyond the instruments and paint rather than just play".

The election is over and history has been made. While I celebrate this great victory in our country, I also mourn a loss of a friend and celebrate the gift he was and continues to be to the world. We miss you Kevin. We pray for your family and offer love and support.

Kevin Locke and The Hoop of Life

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of seeing Kevin Locke perform at the local Arts Center. Kevin Locke is a Native American from the Lakota Nation and an amazing performer. Native American hoop dance is much different from the type of dance in which I participate. The hoops are much smaller, generally made of reed or wood, and Kevin uses 28 hoops; each one representing a day in the lunar cycle. The symbolism in the dance is continuous with each new hoop and movement. He brings the hoops to life as he dances into forms, appearing as a butterfly, the earth, the moon, an eagle soaring, all with fluidity and grace. When he speaks, he speaks of peace, of diversity and of all of us being in unity with one another. His speech and dance reflect each other. One can see the unity of all creation in his dance...how each hoop is interlinked with the other and each form he creates is dependent on each different hoop...similarly we, each human, each living being, is reliant on one another even if we do not see the connection.

Hooping in its many forms has been around for thousands of years. In fact, according to Wikapedia, hooping's first origins date back to ancient Egypt as early as 1000 BC. Through many cultures, in many forms it has been a form of play, expression, dance, communication and so much more. Kevin Locke's performance gave me one more beautiful way to engage with this sacred circle. His message was clear and perfect. WE ARE ONE, WE ARE ALL CONNECTED, BE PEACE.

His words, his dance were a gift to me. I offer great thanks to him and others like him.

Click the link below to watch a video of Kevin Locke performing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_gtJDvU0QY

Post Performance Bliss

On Sunday, October 26th, I had my first paid performance. It was at Journeys, a spiritual community at which my partner Tim plays music each Sunday. I was quite nervous going into the service and was not performing until the end. The community at Journeys is a group of wonderful, open-minded individuals who embraced our family from the first time Tim played there. I knew they would be receptive to my dance, so my anxiety was not so much about that, but more about not wanting to "let them down", or let myself down.

When I hoop, sometimes I'm just practicing, putting the pieces together...trying to learn new things. This type of hooping happens most often when I am able to attend Baxter's classes and in short spurts in the living room or at hoop jams. Mostly though, when I have the opportunity to hoop, I use it to express my inner most self. I tend to "loose" myself in the hoop. It feels almost like there is no separation between my hoop and myself. We are dancing as partners, but at times, perhaps for long periods of time, we become one dancer. It is at these moments that I feel what many hoopers call "Hoop Bliss". I feel like my true self at that moment and this was what I wanted to convey to my audience on Sunday.

I was not performing until the last song. Bill, the minister at Journeys, wanted to wait until the end so that the children could come in at that time and see me hoop as well. It made sense, but left me with a pit of nervousness in my stomach throughout the service. It felt reminiscent to my days in high school and college before a race at a swim meet. Finally, it was my time to perform. I said a few words about the hoop being a sacred circle to me and my gratitude to the Journeys community for all their love and support of our family. And I offered my dance in gratitude for this community of beautiful souls. As I got on stage, Tim and the band began playing "Into the Mystic" and my hoop and I began our dance. My nerves faded immediately and I only thought about the gratitude and love I felt for this community. I tried to express this in my dance. I wanted them to feel it through me. As the song ended and I finished, I was not quite sure what to do. Bill came up immediately and the members of Journeys applauded and then began to stand. I was overcome with humility. It was hard to lift my head, but when I did I could see that a number of people were crying. I felt even more gratitude and humbled that they would offer such thanks to me.

I am so honored that my first performance went so well. Talking with people after the service and hearing their reactions to my dance, and the band's song really was special. Knowing that they "got it", understood my message and appreciated it. I hooped from my heart and my message was heard. There is nothing more blissful than that.

How Fit Can You Get?

Although I generally talk about hooping as a release and meditative exercise, one definitely cannot dismiss the physical benefits of hooping. It is great for the body, mind and soul!! The following article was in TIME magazine on Feb. 07, 2008. I've copied it here and posted a link to the entire article which talks about other forms of "alternative" fitness. The woman in the photo is Rayna McInturf of Hoopnotica, a hooping company in California.

Photo: Hoopnotica Marina Del Rey, California

Robert Gallagher for TIME magazine

Pumping Up The Workout
By Elisabeth Salemme Thursday, Feb. 07, 2008
Exercise classes have come a long way since the days of step aerobics and Jazzercise. And in an effort to counter the crammed schedules and low motivation that millions of people use as excuses for not going to the gym, fitness gurus keep coming up with inventive ways to work out that promise to be enjoyable and effective for both tenderfeet and old hands. Here are three new techniques that have recently begun to catch on in health clubs around the country.

Hooping
The hula hoop, a backyard mainstay since the 1950s, has been drafted for gym duty--only now it's larger and heavier and requires more dexterity to maneuver. In classes set to music, exercisers learn a series of moves that, when combined, work a variety of muscles. "You get the whole body involved," says Rayna McInturf, founder of Los Angeles-based Hoopnotica, the largest adult-size-hoop retailer.
BENEFITS: Hooping adds fun to exercise, which means people are more likely to actually do it. "It takes you back to your childhood," says Dr. Cedric Bryant of the American Council on Exercise. "And for many people, their last positive experience with being physically active was in their childhood." Another plus: it works the body's core and can help participants burn more than 400 calories an hour.
RISKS: Like any exercise, hooping can be harmful if participants don't stretch properly.
AVAILABILITY: Though hooping studios are sprinkled throughout the country, it can be done anywhere...

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1711118,00.html

A Mother's Freedom

I wrote this Blog on tribe.net on Mother's Day 2008. I decided to re-post it here because I know that so many of us who are mothers can understand the those moments when we long for "freedom" before we had children. I also know that I would not trade a day with my children for anything, even the rough days. My dear friend, another hooping mama, and one of the most bad ass hoopers around, Beth Lavinder, often uses the analogy of the oxygen masks on the airplane. You always secure yours first. The point being you must take care of yourself as a mom, as a woman, as a human being, before you can take care of others. Hooping though has provided me with a healthy way for my body and mind to have space and release from the stress of everyday life. It is my sacred space and I hold it as such.

Mother's Day 2008

All I wanted to do today on Mother's Day was to hoop. I had it all planned. Tim was taking Wynter to Journeys with him, so it was just River and me. River and I would head up to WSM, hoop it up and then go over to the community jam at the Town Commons. Looking at the weather last night, I realized Mother Nature had other plans in store for her family. It didn't matter much though, because I just knew that I was hooping today, no matter what. I just wanted/needed to feel that freedom of spinning endlessly with a familiar partner, friend, who is my faery protector, my lioness, circle of golden light. During the last few months in particular my hoop and hooping have been my saving graces. My hoop is a safe, sacred place and has an energy and "life" of its own. I have my own relationship with each hoop. The relationships are formed based on past hooping experiences. Each little dance creates a new memory and adds to the relationship. Hooping is often and expression of who I am and other times helps me find the way to expressing myself. Sometimes it is just an escape from the difficulties of daily life; gaining a little perspective or freedom.. Today it was all three.

Some of us met up at the Do Jhang in late afternoon for and impromptu jam, since everything else had been cancelled by the weather. I had thrown together a playlist (called of course Mother's Day playlist) thinking I was going to Beth's studio to hoop. Unfortunately, I didn't really go back through the list and check for transitions and make sure each song fit....so I found some weirdness and a few songs where I was like, "why did I put this on there". But mostly I felt this immense freedom having made the list and hooping to a lot of songs I really love. I hooped through the entire version of Nina Simone's "Sinner Man". One of my favorites, but over 10 minutes long. I did exercises to strengthen my legs, but that were repetitive so little thought was required and I could keep my head clear. And when Richie Havens' "Freedom" played, it felt as though he was singing for me, and I went off....remembering Shakori...and just feeling his words....and searching for and feeling some Freedom.

On my way back from the jam, I though a lot about freedom. My own personal freedom. How it has changed so much since having children. How I'm lucky that I have such a supportive partner, who takes care of the kids several times a week so I can go to class or jams, but what would it be like to be Ann or Baxter (whom I had just left), who didn't have to go home to children. I decided to stop at Open Eye Cafe for a Latte. A true treat. First of all, because I rarely go there anymore, and secondly because I could...I had no children with me. I walked in, ordered my drink and a muffin and began to look around. I watched the people there. Friends meeting, people working on computers, others reading books....I tried to remember the last time I was able to go and sit at a coffee shop...what a luxury.

It made me think back to Kansas City and my days as Jesuit Volunteer. I lived in coffee shops. Or when I use to go to Hell (a local CH bar) every afternoon from 5-7 for free pool and cheap beer. The last time I was there was when I was pregnant with Wynter. The coffee tasted awesome and driving on the country roads seemed freeing. Like when I was younger and we would just pick up and go on a road trip. Driving from state to state...from TX to AZ through Colorado and Kansas up through the Midwest....friggin everywhere...all jammed in van with camping gear....just doing anything and everything....hiking the Grand Canyon, white water rafting, camping god knows where... picnics in fields of blue bonnets with Joe The Dog frolicking endlessly. Good times. I wonder if I felt the freedom then. I know I did sometimes...mostly on road trips...and those were many.

All these thoughts today. Then as I got closer to home I thought about River and Wynter. It feels like they've always been here. I have these great memories (as well as some really bad ones) from my past. All these moments of "freedom" that I thought of and felt today.....the present feeling of freedom in the hoop and the feelings of freedom that I miss sometimes because I can't just drop everything and spontaneously drive across the country. But now I don't understand life without Wynter or River. It just doesn't make sense. While I understand that they were not physically present during my younger years, I've ALWAYS known them, they have always been with me somehow. So now although it gets overwhelming quite often and I feel this need to escape, I don't know freedom without them. I guess I never really have

Performance Anxiety

This coming Sunday will be my first paid performance and I am nervous as hell. I've performed before at a talent show and of course hooped in public more times than I can count, but this is different. I mean someone is paying me, ME, to hoop at a gathering for them! I'm excited, nervous, ready, and doubting myself all at the same time. I'll be hooping at Journeys, a spiritual community, which is incredibly warm and welcoming and understands that hooping is a spiritual art for me. This makes the setting much more comfortable. However, there is the feeling of not wanting to let Bill (the minister) down, not wanting to let the community down, and of course not wanting to mistakenly throw a hoop into the audience (that would be a bit embarrassing and potentially dangerous). So I'm spending the week practicing and gathering my confidence. Of course I can do this, and seriously there is not a better crowd in which to perform. This community has been so helpful to our family in many, many ways and are like family. So I practice, go inward and visualize success, look for guidance in my meditation and hoop practice and have faith that I will be all I know I can be. Wish me luck!!